14. Dream Memory.

You know that tip of the tongue phenomenon? Well that happened to me this morning with my dream. In my last minutes of sleep, I swore I knew what I was dreaming about but as soon as I opened my eyes it was gone. It doesn't matter. I don't think I had the same dream because I wasn't nearly as exhausted today as I was yesterday, so I probably didn't spend my entire night running away down hallways covered with notes.

I have to admit that I am a little disappointed that I couldn't figure out what the dream was trying to tell me, but maybe that's a good thing. It obviously was just residue from my guilt about cutting L out of my life and in turn giving up resolving some of my personal issues. Maybe I was just making it out to be more than it actually was. I feel like I can finally get on with my life. I can keep my secrets tucked away and stop obsessing over some stranger. The whole thing with L was weird though, I had an intense and irrational fixation with someone I never met but who seemed to know the darkest parts of me and now it's gone. As quickly as it came into my life, it left; it's like it never happened. I'm glad it's over. I was on edge all the time, looking over my shoulder, having the feeling like someone was watching me. It was all very unsettling. I can breathe easier now.

* * * * * *

I left work before 5 just for the heck of it, ran some errand, and got home early.

Thanks Ray Ordinario!

As I waited for the elevator, I shuffled through my mail. "Street Level," and the elevator doors opened. I chuckled to myself as I thought about my boyfriend's sister who always said the talking elevator gave her the creeps. Seattle City Light. Crate and Barrel Catalog. Junk. Junk. Junk. Student Loan. The weekly newspaper ad. More junk. I decided to see what the Safeway had on sale this week. As I open the ad, a piece of paper fluttered to the ground. It didn't look like part of the ad, it looked like a torn piece of paper. As I bent down to get a closer look at what it said, I had a hard time making out the words. Was this in English? I bent down lower and it took a second for my eyes to focus. Suddenly, I was hit with deja vu: my dream. I froze as the newspaper ad and other mail fell out of my hand and littered the elevator floor. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. There lying on the floor with all the other paper was the other half of L's note that I ripped; the half that I left stapled to the door at the stop. "Third Floor."