Sunday, April 19, 2009

7. Drops of Blood.

My dream; no, my nightmare about L haunts me. I keep seeing drops of blood as I walk downtown and I blink my eyes and shake my head to get rid of the images, but no sooner than I can see straight, the blood shows up again. And sometimes if I close my eyes too long I see myself drowning in a sea of blood and it freaks me out.

Once I get to work the visions of blood are not as frequent and I spend my morning googling pictures of puppies and kittens, sunny beaches, serene mountains; anything to keep my mind in a positive place. It works and for the rest of the day I don't think about L or blood or drowning.

Thanks ayngelina!

In the afternoon, I make plans with a friend to go to happy hour after work. I leave work and don't go to the stop; I go to a bar instead: I need to forget the nightmare; I need to drink until the L situation stops plaguing me; stops being too real to me: stops being me.


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