Bankruptcy. Part Two.

The sensation jolted Kate's senses and she jerked herself back right away and fell into the chair. Kate's heart was racing and her palms were sweaty. Her knees felt weak and she was breathing heavily. Kate reached for her wine glass and finished the rest quickly. In that moment, as Kate felt herself falling, she got really scared and decided that it wasn't the way to go. She lit another cigarette and curled up in the chair, hugging her knees close towards her chest and rocking herself gently.

Kate didn't know how any of this happened. Three years ago, she got married to the man of her dreams. She did everything the right way and it was perfect. The wedding was lavish and beautiful.

Thanks nicholaus haskins'!

The honeymoon was magical and exotic. The condo was penthouse level and the car was sleek and sporty. So what went wrong? Kate's prince charming turned out to be a gambler and a thief, promising these thugs that he could double their money in a week if they just fronted him the cash, while begging the other thugs for just two more weeks, you know I'm good for it. Kate's fairy tale ending didn't turn out happily ever after after all. But instead of playing the damsel in distress, Kate took up freelance work and also got a night job waiting tables, in addition to her 9-5 job. All the money that came in went right back out to to pay the loan sharks and the mounting debt that never seemed to go down. She was stretched as thin as it was and felt like she couldn't handle much more. The way Kate saw it she had two options, she could jump or she could declare bankruptcy. The former sounded simple and easy, and would solve so much more than just the money problems, but she still felt uneasy at the way her stomach dropped when she lost her footing on the chair, and Kate knew she didn't have the guts to do it.

Kate lit another cigarette and smoked it quickly, then went back inside to face her reality. As she walked into her apartment, the sliding door slammed and shut out the murmur of cars and engulfed herself in silence. She got another glass of wine and began pacing around the living room, thinking about what to do; just one step at a time, one step at a time she kept repeating to herself. The more she paced, the more she drank; the more she drank, the more clearly Kate began to see things. During one of the laps around the room, she paused to admire the massive display case that tactfully decorated the sitting area with her clown collection. She eyed each and every one, noting the details on the painted faces and thought how she too painted a smile on her face everyday just to come across as normal; as happy. Kate lost the ability to smile freely a long time ago, but she didn't forget how to fake it and her clowns reminded her everyday that you're only as happy as you look, so she look the liberty of painting big red lips with a bright happy smile

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and no one knew that deep down she was ripped and torn to shreds by a disappointing and worthless existence. As Kate studied each clown, her face softened and her eyes brightened and a big happy smile spread across her face. She just needed to take things one step at a time, one thing at a time and she could dig herself out of this mess.