Thursday, October 29, 2009


Kenneth did not see Melanie for four days, whether it was on purpose because Kenneth felt guilty about his increasing desire to get back into the scene and knew Melanie would disapprove or if it just happened, would be a question that Kenneth's actions would answer as he found himself actively seeking the company of George. He knew it would just take a little prodding to entice George's budding interest and he began feeling a hint of excitement as his nights turn from the red Jetta to sitting in front of his house in George's dark blue SUV talking about raves and music. Had Kenneth known that these innocent conversations with his friend would lead George down a path of destruction, that for George this would be his gateway to a dark life, that his friends would never know the real truth about, and ultimately end with his untimely death, Kenneth may have thought twice about introducing this devious lifestyle to George, but at the time Kenneth was trying to fill a void in his own life and thought he was helping George find his place as well.

Although it was over a year since Kenneth indulged himself, the idea of doing it again tempted him more than anything and constantly consumed his thoughts. To Kenneth, it was the only time in his life when he felt that he matter to other people in a world that usually paid no attention to him. In that world, everyone mattered and Kenneth was welcomed by the open arms of a stranger that he immediately felt close to, a person he could confide in and expose his true self without fear of being judged for not having money or a family. He was able to find common ground with the one person he always thought was better than him and he was humbled. In that world, Kenneth was able to release his inhibitions and for the first time in his life he understood what it felt like to be love, then Kenneth saw that it was easy to fall in love with living and with himself when he had people that really, truly cared for him. It was in this environment that Kenneth saw that there was a flip side to the real, cold, callous world he grew up in and it gave him hope.


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