Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Home Again.

The first year he was away, his gains were imperceptible, at least to himself. Everyone else saw him as a changed man and heard it in his voice too, he lost the sing-songy tone that always seemed to ask a question even though he was just commenting on the weather. Perhaps the reason why he couldn't see what he was gaining was because he went home too often. He was always looking for excuses to go home and fortunately for him, his father's employee status with the airlines allowed him to do so. He became such a pro at flying standby, he knew when the best times were to fly and knew how many seats were open and was grateful that he had his father's 20 year seniority so he almost always got a seat. He looked at his long weekend trips with six hours flights, three hour time differences, and too many classes missed, as necessary to keep his sanity. With 10 week long quarters, plus an extra week for finals, three months being away from home was too long for him to handle.

The first time he took his long weekend was two week after he left. He started planning this trip back home on the second day he was away. He was done with classes and it was only 11:30 AM. He had the whole day ahead of him and all he could do was think about home.

Thanks salihan!

He thought about calling but it was only 830 in the morning and he knew his parents were just getting to work and his friends were probably still sleeping. He decided to write emails instead and tell his family and friends about all the cool people he met and how inspiring his classes were and the awesome party he was looking forward to on Friday. In reality, he still hadn't made any friends because he always kept his head down and stood far away from everyone else so no one would talk to him because these new people just made him miss his old friends more. In class he just doodled and daydreamed about what he would be doing if he was back home and he didn't want to admit that to anyone. He didn't want people to know how miserable he was because just five months ago, when he got accepted to this school, he was ecstatic and could hardly wait to leave and venture out into the real world. Now, he was finally on his own and all he could think about was being back in his comfort zone.

As he was writing his emails, he decided to check on flights for the following weekend just for fun but the more he looked, the more he saw an opportunity and before he was even done with his first email, he had listed himself on the first flight out of town next week Friday. It was only later that he realized he missed so much of the college experience by wishing he was home, but now it didn't matter because he had something to look forward to and it was only 10 days away. As the days passed, he didn't try to make friends or get settled in because all he was thinking about was his upcoming four day weekend. He went to bed each night just a little bit more excited that his trip was one day closer. By the time Thursday night rolled around he was too excited to sleep. He decided to stay up since it was already midnight and he had to be up by four to catch his flight at 6. He planned it perfectly so he knew he would get on the flight and it was just his luck that he got the last open seat in first class. He was riding on a high that he never knew before. He felt so liberated and relieved that he was going back home to the place where he could be comfortable and let this guard down and be surrounded by the people he loved most.

Thanks polarpaul!

When the plane was making it's final decent, he raised his window shade and witnessed the most beautiful scene. It was a landscape that he had grown up with and had seen countless times, but this time he saw it with new eyes ; the water was bluer, the sun was brighter, the green was crisper and he felt a pang in his heart as he felt a strange sense of ownership that he couldn't quite explain then as the plane touch the ground he realized that this was it, he was home.


Robyn said...

yay! my favorite parts are the being excited to leave only to miss home once away, focusing on home and not really living the college life, the feeling of letting your guard down at home, things looking different, the feeling of "ownership."

shansPLC said...

thanks! i'm trying to remember what i was feeling when i first left home...too bad I wasn't blogging then. it's amazing to think back though and realize how i've changed. thanks for reading!

Post a Comment